Well, it’s been roughly 430 days since I last posted here about the Cubs.  What did I miss?  Let’s see, there was a lot of noise last year, as the Cubs successfully defeated lots of miserable National League clubs (SD, Pirates, Milwaukee, Houston, etc) and they made it to the playoffs.

And then the Dodgers just swept them aside.  The Cubs weren’t even competitive.  Imagine a lazy and overweight dog attacking a crocodile.  I refused to watch most of the playoff struggle because I didn’t want to watch the dog get eaten.

Now we are in 2009, and my interest in the Cubs was at such a low that I didn’t even bother doing my 25 man roster rundown.  But I guess I should, just for the sake of history.  Here’s what the squad looks like as of today….

Ted Lilly – not a bad starter.  I can’t say too much bad about Lilly except that it would be better if he was surrounded by a better squad.  He’d be great for a contender.

Randy Wells – well here is someone new.  Lots of hope and praise.  Good luck.  Best advice to Randy: relocate soon.

David Patton – no comment, not going to help.

Kevin Gregg – I predict a difficult time, strictly because he is with the Cubs.  Just like Maddux, I can see this guy having fantastic success later in his career….in Atlanta.

Carlos Marmol – here is Uncle Lou’s favorite guy to love and hate.  Don’t count on this guy in the clutch.  He will get some decent numbers, but just like Sammy Soso, they’re not when it matters.  He looks scared even when he’s going out to dinner on Rush Street.

Jose Ascanio – Obviously I’m not a fan, never heard of this one.  Next.

Jason Waddell – Yawn.

Aaron Heilman – Aaron Who’s The Man?

Angel Guzman – (crickets chirp)

Ryan Dempster – a very good pitcher and a great pitcher at Wrigley.  He is a winner, a few difficulties on the road but still above average.  He just can’t carry the whole team.

Sean Marshall – Average to above average.  Here’s another one that might be losing some potential due to The Goat.

Big Zzzzz – Yes, the best for last.  A very high quality pitcher who is not going to win a World Series ring.  No crying in baseball.  Cub fans love this guy (picked-up a bunch of fans from the Cheating Soso) and that’s why I don’t like Cub fans.  Don’t blame the umps just because your team can’t win consistently.  Stop being so upset, whether you win or lose.  Stop pointing at the clouds.  Drop 50% of the emotion or go buy 50% more lipstick.  What a girl.  No ring for such an emotional wreck.  

Koyie Hill – Who?  Why am I doing this?

Mike Fontenot – here is a good baseball player.  He would be a real help to a team late in the season.  Run Mike, find a new home.

Ryan Theriot – The Riot, for me the best out of the 25 players.  This is a quality baseball player, very good numbers, good attitude, and clutch in more than one game I’ve seen.  Another example of how a good player can’t replace a good team.

Milton Bradley – another emotional mess, named after a game company.  Here is the real jinx Cub fans: you will not win a championship with a man named after a boardgame company on your 25 man roster.  He’s struggled here anyway, and even if he didn’t, he’s just not that much.  Certainly a clubhouse distraction.

Bobby Scales – Rookie.  Helped some, but not much.  Not very clutch.

Fukodome – better than last year but still a buster.  Big part of the loss last year, helping secure more nothingness this year.

Reed Johnson – sometimes surprising.  Average player that can play exceptionally, and can definitely hit in some clutch situations.  And can play some great defense!  Surprise here, but too often the result is purely average.

Aaron Miles – ???  Not good.

Derek Lee – I know he has some success, including a ring.  I’m not a fan.  He’s a drag for the team.  I know, I know — he’s a cornerstone.  Not for me.

Andres Blanco – back-up catcher, automatic out.

Micah Hoffpaiuer – I didn’t spell his name correctly.  On purpose.  Another out.

The Fonze Soriano – Lots of homers, lots of noise.  But I don’t see him on a winning squad.  Very similar to Sammy Soso.  Left behind by the Yankees for a reason.

Geovany Soto – hurt early, but a very good player.  Exceptional catcher.  Nothing really to complain about here.

That’s it!  That is the 25 man roster as of today, June 10th 2009.  Too bad.  Some good talent, but definitely not enough to get the job done.  Dodgers are better even with the Manny disgrace.  Mets would win in 7 games, maybe even the Marlins.  Cardinals late in the year would probably beat the Cubs as well.  Even if they did get to the World Series, they wouldn’t beat Boston or the Yankees or most any American League team for that matter.

Sorry Cub fans, but Cub Doom is rolling stronger than ever.  Year 101 is ready to go into the futility archives.  Nothing new.




Washed Out Either Way

Did you invest in tickets for the Cub game today? Looks like rain, so you may want to stay home. Of course, you may want to stay home anyway.

Whether or not the Cub game gets played today is not important. The Cubs will probably get rained out today, but if they do play it’s time to battle the Brewers. But as the new season begins, what force structure do the Chicago Cubs bring to the table? They go into the season today with 12 pitchers and 13 position players. The power of Sean Marshall and Matt Murton await should any of these 25 get hurt, stink, or otherwise drop out of the race for the championship.

Let’s review some of the highlights…..

Kerry Wood, no longer the kid, is proven to be very good at times, and terrible at others. The reality is that Kerry can help this team win, but nothing lights-out here anymore these days.

Fukudome, an unknown quantity in MLB with high expectations. This was the Cubs major acquisition since last playing. We shall see what the Kingdom of the Cub does to this high regard.

Soto and Blanco will take turns trying to determine who is the less fruitless when it comes to catching.for this squad.

Ted Lilly I will say is a good player and I expect him to provide another quality season. He may get some run support and he may not, but either way I pencil him in for at least 15 wins.

Rich Hill is a good pitcher, too. How his 2008 season will go is still in question. He should be okay, good or above average.

Lieber is a war machine and I doubt he will have that good of a season. At his age, and with the low run totals that the offense will produce, he will probably have a losing record this year.

Howry is a castoff from the White Sox, no major impact here except to help the squad lose more games.

Marmol is very good, but let’s see if he can capture that same magic from last year.

Ryan Dempster, Kevin Hart, Mike Wuertz, Pignatiello (huh?) and Jason Marquis are all wild cards. The bullpen is basically doomed, as in Cub Doom. Once the games get out of the starting rotation watch this team lose the game. Scott Eyre is out on the 15 day, once he’s back he can contribute to the losing.

What about the Big Z man? Yeah, I didn’t forget. Scratch him in for 17 wins, and still isn’t the difference maker. A bunch of the wins will come against the Pirates, Reds and other assorted duds. Not a difference maker, not last year, not this year.

Soriano will get a lot of hits, but not enough that are clutch.

Reed Johnson = another unknown, time-to-sleep-at-the-wheel acquisitions.

Felix Pie is not that good. He can help out here or there, but that’s about it.

Lee and Ramirez will both put up some good numbers. Again, largely against the weaker pitching. This is not Manny and Ortiz.

I like The Riot, he is one of the better players on the team. He should provide some sparks, and some clutch hitting.

DeRosa and Cedeno are non-factors.

Mike Fontenot is good, but not a factor.

Ward is going to hit at least .280 this year with some pop.

I think that’s about it. There is your 2008 squad, at least for now.

More than the talent, I don’t see this as a true team. Has this squad been together for any length of time? There are about 15 players that could be considered the core, others are castoffs, rebills, and journeymen. The Cubs just need to focus on building up from the bottom, using The Riot and Jon Garland as examples.

Go Cubs Go.


Welcome! It is now time to document and follow the Cubs in their fruitless endeavor to win the World Series. Of course this will not happen, but this year that failure has added meaning and excitement.

The Chicago National League Ballclub now has the opportunity to become the first professional sports franchise to go 100 years without a championship. Last time the Cubs won the World Series the airplane was five years old and horses were still being utilized for transportation.

The Cubs will fail again this year, for a variety of reasons. The roster is not that great, and more importantly it is not a team of players. The arrival of a variety of castoffs, semi-skilled players and just plain old warriors will not be enough to get the job done.

Also, Sam Zell has only managed to distract everyone with his obsession with money rather than talking about winning a championship. The entire blather about who will get naming rights for Wrigley Field, and how much that will cost, has created a terrible atmosphere in the Kingdom of the Cub. This sad whirlwind of gibberish is so fitting for our times. Instead of working on developing a team and focusing on the great sport of baseball, the Cubs can only talk about pathetic corporate sponsorship and heaping piles of steaming cash. Meanwhile, teams like Detroit, Cleveland, San Diego, the Mets, the Yankees and Boston all are locked-in to fight it out and make it to the playoffs.

So this is the year, cub fans. No, not to win the long awaited championship. Nope, we are going to achieve something even more difficult. The Cubs will lose for 100 years in a row. Quite an accomplishment!

Check back to the Cub Doom blog for constant updates on a team that can’t win!